Interrogating Ideology With A Chainsaw

Neighber: We have been trick or treated to death!  Dr. Loomis: You do not even know what death is! Death is the end. The transformation between existence and nonevidence as the steak knife slides across the throat. Loomis is aware of the cold brutality of the knife. The annoyed suburbanite on the other hand, casually comparing handing out free candy on Halloween to death is out of touch with life.

This juxtaposition is between surface and content, Psychiatrist and suburbanite emerge in the opening credits of Halloween 2. The pumpkin that slowly reveals its innards are more that pumpkin guts. A skull with empty eyes and a transfixed gaze. Hollow holes staring without eyes. Beyond the camera and into the viewer. Am I the target, dying continuously?

It's 3:28 am. I woke from a nightmare and dehydration. I rarely remember my dream. Often times, when I do I went to bed at an appropriate time and did not go to sleep out of exhaustion. Last night I finished a bottle of wine and went to sleep four hours early than usual.

I have felt this sense of dread for the last couple days. The weight of existence. What good are we as a species? What merit do we bring to this earth?

The nightmare was about work. I arrived at the office with my typical attitude of hoping for the best and expecting the worst. Upon unlocking the door to my office I found that the room had been stripped. All my posters and photos had been removed from the walk and piled on the floor. Inspecting the walls I found they had a new coat of paint that had been poorly applied. There were inconsistencies in the coat of paint. Missing spots, and it was if rather than going up and down with a paint roller each time the paint was applied with a different angle.

If any cat is anti-capitalist, Cthulhu is. Why, you ask? Because she constantly sabotages my desire to spoil her with gifts and toys. Like yesterday, after months of hesitation, I finally purchase her a small cat tree. In stead of enjoying the new play area she becomes infatuated with the box the tree came in!

After several months, my order of The Beauty of Horror arrived. Cthulhu was not impressed by the book and made the new cardboard box her outpost. But wait, a fish arrived on the scene, but the fish was too far out of reach for little Cthulhu. :(

Good day comrades. Today, I received my first Horror Pack! Watch as I make a box open. Ta Da! Horror Pack is subscription service that sends you a box of horror movies every month. Personally, I love getting creepy presents every month. Check out the video below and be prepared for the scary!

The motive for Jason Vorhee’s murder spree seems obvious at first. A kid goes camping and while unsupervised drowns. The child’s mother seeks revenge and kills campers one by one. Striking back, the final girl beheads Jason’s mother. Unbeknownst to everyone, Jason or the disembodied spirit of Jason watched as his mother was beheaded.

After snoozing alarm for an hour, I feel asleep. Lost to the darkness, I found myself in a nightmare. Full of dread, I woke up sweating and found Cthulhu calming walking across my chest. Pacing, turning, and finally plopping down to rest on my abdomen. And even though I knew Cthulhu was planning to kill me. The small comforts had a soothing effect. 
Services dogs are all the rave among those with PTSD. While there are training classes, and organizations to get a dog to the point where they can be named a service dog, there are no official certifying bodies. Honestly, the officialness of service dogs is about as official as becoming a minister through a website. I say all this not to bash service dogs, but to make the point that there isn't much to a dog becoming a service dog. This begs the question, why not service cat? 
Cats are hunters. And like many veteran's they are hypervigilant, highly agile and trained to kill. I think it is about time to recognized cats as service a…

Welcome to our journey into the guts of The Walking Dead. What kind of journey? A philosophical, psychoanalytical and political kind. What I would like to do over the next couple months is dig through the Walking Dead episode by episode to see what it can teach us. Thank you for following me on this journey. I look forward to reading your comments. Be forewarned: There are spoilers everywhere. Don’t forget to check out my previous post in the Philosophizing TWD series: Philosophizing TWD S3E15 This Sorrowful Life | Who Is Morally Superior - Rick Or Merle?

I never liked Andrea. From the start, she represented the senseless do-gooder. The only character positioning herself in the center of needed violence and calling for peace. On the opposite of the spectrum is Milton. The cowardly scientist. Both characters present the same obstacle. Andrea and Milton’s desire to avoid violence results not only in their own demise but escalates the bloodshed between the rival factions.

Earlier today, I while Cthulhu was distracted I photobombed her. She didn't know what happened. Out of revenge, she committed and act of blogging terrorism and sat on my computer while I was typing. No greater evil! Does anyone know the correct ceremony to a cat exorcism? I think she is possessed. 

Dear Internet,
Earlier this week Cthulhu developed a red spot a little below her ear. I had a hard time getting a good look at it but when I did it looks like a scab. It kinda looks like she has been scratching herself and because some hair is missing. I thought it might be the nails so I trimmed them. I have been treating the wound with Neosporin and cleaning it daily. She is showing signs of being withdrawn. She has been hanging out on my doormat for two days all night. She never I've tried googling but that has been useless. Oh great internet, tell me what to do?

Open Letter to President Trump,

You represent the worst society has to offer. Not only has the democratic process been destroyed beyond all recognition but you have inspired a hate not seen since Hitler. You've given the country's idiots permission to let lose the full brunt of their bigotry. You've turned back the clock on women, LGBTQ, and human rights. And you did so haphazardly, for the lulz. But I am hopeful, I'd like to think you'd agree, preventing Hitler-like behavior is a good idea. I'd like to make you an offer. But first, let me tell you how you broke my heart today.

Cthulhu is lying on the doormat. She's been there all night. Staring into the dark of the hallway. Trapping me in my apartment and making the path to my kitchen treacherous. Stranger still, yesterday she guarded my closet door for hours. Protecting me from mischievous ghost all night. What turns the cogs in her brain? From what great below churns her hunger?

Good Day Internet!

You may have noticed a surprising amount of kitty over the last couple months. In 2016, in the middle of hellish personal crisis, and an episode of PTSD I sprung a little critter from the shelter. I named her Cthulhu. She has been a blast and has helped chill my brain out during some difficult times. I am seeking support in purchasing a spiffy video camera. Video content creation has been a blast and one of the best ways I have found to treat my mental health. There is nothing else in my day that makes me smile more than Cthulhu.

You may or may not be aware that I am a Navy Veteran. I served in the military from 2003 to 2007 and the military put me in some difficult situations. And these events are still with me. I rattle with nightmares. I have sudden mood shifts and sink into depressive episodes. I have been in and out of therapy for almost ten years.

I was painting earlier today, and suddenly the canvas started rattling. And a paw dashed out trying to steal my paint brush. Not today little fish monster. Not today.

Napping. I was startled awake by a hungry howling Meow from the kitchen. Being as quiet as I could, I opened a can of ground sacrifice and offered the glistening meal to Cthulhu.

I went into Flashback Weekend giddy as a zombie cheerleader at homecoming. My giddiness rotted quickly by a serious of events that I should have seen coming. 15 dollars for parking at an event I paid 100+ to attend. Overcrowded and under-entertained I left the convention early. Bored, disgusted and with the feeling that my time would have been spent better on my couch watching movies. Between ruthless consumerism and overpriced merchandise, a couple moments stood out to me.

Below are my experiences with Flashback Weekend 2016.
2 pm – 3 pm
Since moving to Chicago I have been hesitant to attend Flashback Weekend. Flashback Weekend is a long running Horror Movie convention. This is my first convention so I do not know what to expect. On the one hand, I am a horror fan and excited at the idea of surrounding myself with all things creepy. On the other hand, I am also a veteran with PTSD and cringe at the thought of entering crowded spaces full of strangers. This twinge giddiness mixed with…

Every day convinces me that Cthulhu is adjusting well to possession. The spirits are strong with this one. The power of christ cannot compel her anymore. Cthulhu is becoming. Emerging into transcendental realms. Worlds of where vice conquers, no one is left undefiled and Goonies Never Say Die!

I love getting fan mail or emails about cool films, events, and ideas. But the emails I don't know what to do with are messages that appear to be Copy & Pasted. I don't like to be spammed. No one does.I know it's hard to get the word out about a new product. But it is important to do your market research. This is not to say that every promo email is lame. Some emails have introduced me to some amazing projects. Unfortunately, not all horror is created equal. Today, I will attempt to unclog Andrew Plunger's latrine. Let's begin with the email.

Cthulhu is compelled to reign over the deeps. From her perch, she can view the horizon of her domain. Sleeping - rest assured, that the evil that must be done will be done.

What conjures a greater fear? Random violence or deliberate violence? How do we survive? Why would we cling to fabrications when reality spins a different tale?  On the one hand, randomness breaks the pattern of our everyday experience with something that doesn’t quite fit the puzzle. On the other, the rational slaughter can leave us with a gnawing sense of human divergence. The film Final Destination uses rational and irrational violence to disturb the viewer's sense of equilibrium by shifting between reality and a reality invested with death. Similarly, the events of the Columbine Massacre viewed through the lenses of our TV sets intentionally and unintentionally scattered reality forcing the viewer to take sides. How do we make sense of what doesn’t make sense? How do we chart a course through tragedy when competing realities disintegrate our ability to clarify our perspective? This essay seeks to explore how we put the puzzle together when realities compete for truth.

Cthulhu sleeps all the time. She sleeps on the couch, floor, kitchen table, cat bed and on top of me. I image her dreams like hellraiser with mice. Cthulhu has such sites to show you.

Cthulhu primarily has two noticeable moods outside the typical hard to read cat behavior. When I get home, Cthulhu is a cute and cuddlie and seeking attention. Then, her ears perk up and a long pitched yell squeals out of her as she paces towards me for the kill. I call this the IMGOINGTOFUCKYOUUP mode. For example:

Tell me about yourself? Why do you write? 

Hello, my name is Remy Dean, I am an author and artist.

I write because I enjoy writing! I seem to be one of the few writers that do not see writing as the ‘noble chore’ – I think that is what Harlan Ellison called it. I used to write professionally, and get paid for it, so I honed my craft in journalism, feature writing, and book commissions. Then I was aware that as I became more successful and became known as a ‘deadline buster’, I was getting asked to write various books that were not really in my area of interest. Mind you, I usually found whatever project I was working on interesting after I got into it. I turned down the biography of the band Suede. At the time I was not really interested in Suede, but the editor kept on at me, so I eventually agreed. I ended up really liking the band and quite liking the book.

I am starting a new series of adorable cat moments. Because, why? I have not found a smooth place to insert Cthulhu into Interrogating Ideology. My plan, keep it simple. Showcase adorable Cthulhu moments and update you whatever requires an update.  Eventually, I will create a tab above to catalog Cthulhu posts and provide a brief history of the critter from the deep. My hope is that this scheme will get me back into a habit of writing more frequently and combat some of the symptomology that I have been experiencing. This week is challenging. I am having difficulty sleeping and maintaining focus. My irritability levels are climbing daily.

I dream of the weekend.

I am working on a complex project in art therapy. I started with the idea of build a square of ocean out of plaster casting. In the center of this ocean is a silhouette of destroyer and surrounding the ship is waves crashing in from all sides. Conspiring to destroy. The idea evolved to putting the entire block of ocean and ship inside a box, painting the walls of the box with ocean, placing a red flashing police light inside, and only allowing the viewer to view into the box through binoculars. Additionally, the viewer would also be required to wear headsets playing a recording beginning with ocean noises which gradually become more extreme and filled with screaming. I am considering including the audio from the rape scene in irreversible.