Cat Bath Challenge?! The Power of the Deep Compels You!

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Dear readers, I think it may be time for a kittie exorcism. Based on my limited cat knowledge and googling I’ve learned that bathing a cat a couple times a year may help with my allergies. I understand this is a dangerous and drastic step. I’ll be risking my own life to purify the dander. But I’ve tried all the basic steps. I cleaned. I've combed. I've mopped. I even bought an air purifier. Nothing is working! New strategies are in order. I may have to risk my life and give Cthulhu a bath...

I’ve done many crazy things in my life. But I doubt my own courage on this task. So I will offer a challenge. If I receive 25 comments below urging me to bath the Cthulhu I will video record the ordeal and post it on YouTube.
...

The biggest thing I’ve learned from owning a cat is that I will tolerate shit that I’d punch most humans in the throat for. Like just now. I sit down to write, for you, my dear readers, and this critter plops down on my lap. Suddenly, I am missing time. Cuteness. Cuddles. Purring. 30 minutes have passed and the vex is broken. Cthulhu has become bored and wanders towards the kitchen, leaving me with the blank page, guilt, and itchy arms. I’ve broken out in hives again

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