Cat Bath Challenge?! The Power of the Deep Compels You!

Dear readers, I think it may be time for a kittie exorcism. Based on my limited cat knowledge and googling I’ve learned that bathing a cat a couple times a year may help with my allergies. I understand this is a dangerous and drastic step. I’ll be risking my own life to purify the dander. But I’ve tried all the basic steps. I cleaned. I've combed. I've mopped. I even bought an air purifier. Nothing is working! New strategies are in order. I may have to risk my life and give Cthulhu a bath...