Monday, July 17, 2017

IT (1990) - The Ontology of Clowns, Balloons and the Bloody Sink

We all know that the most common form IT takes is Pennywise. A pale faced clown with red hair and an oversized forehead. But, what is the it of IT? Below I will explore the ontological fabric of Pennywise the Dancing Clown. What frame work supports Pennywise’s existence? How does this support operate in the subject to maintain the continuation of the clown’s presence?

The word “it” is a third person pronoun that captures the spirit of Pennywise. An entity who exists only in so far and to the extent that it is believed in. In this sense, he is wholly dependent on his victim for his power. Pennywise’s sensory intrusions, bloody photos, bloody sinks, balloons, sever to shake the ideological fabric of the victim.

Cthulhu - Adorable Cat Moment #26 Nosferatu and the Box Troll Cat


Dear Zombies: I hate Emails.

Image result for I hate emails
I hate how savagely an email can ravage my mind. Thoughts of counter attacks and chess move ping pong my mind. Weaving insidious revenge stress. Boiling demands for justice. Oceans of hatred. Fabricated enemies leveling up to nemeses.

Reason. Is this such a big deal? Some email? Some strings of code weaving through the nether. Should I care? Be bothered? Even after gathering the thoughts of existential fruitlessness. I am still sleepless. Tossing across the pillows. Restless.

Friday, July 14, 2017

Photography: Chicago's Shiny Gas Station

Some photos from last Tuesday. These were taken about 0930 during a break in the rain. It is the end of the world! Ain't it pretty? 


Dear Zombies: Every Monster Wants Somewhere To Belong

Image result for social exclusion

I've read that social exclusion triggers the same part of the brain as physical pain. Learning this several years ago, some dots connected. Social situations from my youth and young adult life took on darker themes. Not only was I a unique loner, who seems to weave myself in and out of complex social cliques. While I was able to connect this connect rarely trespassed the door of connection, and in those brief and painful moments on the precipice of mutual empathy my abrasiveness, anger or awkwardness trip up my ability to be connected to others.

Thursday, July 13, 2017

Cthulhu - Adorable Cat Moment #24 I'm back and I sleep on your face!






Dear Zombies: All Hail Sisyphus, patron saint of glorious futility

Image result for sisiphys depression

There is a pain inside me and it is oozing out. The trouble with the path to greatness is that it requires people. People who shift with the chaos. Sometimes, solid stepping stones to climb the hill and other time a bear trap ready to laugh. Caught between fumbling and progress. This limbo of people. Humanity this revolving polarity. Constantly splitting you from who you could be with who they think you are.

Tuesday, March 14, 2017

Cthulhu - Adorable Cat Moment #19 Treats and Waiting Lines

Something is going on in my brain. The frequency of my nightmares is growing. Last night I dreamed I was in my office and people were showing up to join the program. I recruit people in my day job. But there were too many, and I had never met many of them. So I asked them to line up and I got my computer set up to take down their contact information. But my computer was being too slow and I was worried that people would walk off. I tried to explain to the line my computer was being slow and asked if everyone could be patient. My worry built. My computer took too long. 

A dream like this is such a simple thing, but incredibly stressful for me. :(

Saturday, March 11, 2017

Cthulhu - Adorable Cat Moment #18 Veterans Disability Claim Nightmare

Do cats sense distress? I have no clue. Cthulhu always seems more worried about her own needs. Unless I wake up from a nightmare. When I do she is all over me. Obnoxiously affectionate. 

The unfortunate thing about my sleeping pattern is that if I go to bed at a reasonable time my chances of having a nightmare skyrocket. In my dream I had returned home from work to find a letter from the Department of Veteran Affairs about my disability claim. I have been in the process over a year now and expect to find out soon about my claim. I took the letter to the Veteran Service officer, and they informed me that my claim had neither been rejected or accepted. But due to a technicality that they couldn't explain my claim needed to start over from the beginning. 

That is a heart breaking thought. 



Thursday, March 9, 2017

Cthulhu - Adorable Cat Moment #17 Blogger Cat Surprise!

A rattling behind my computer. A wiggly tail waving from the abyss. A surprise cat head staring at me with hungry bored eyes. Yawing great sighs and swallowing the universe. 


Tuesday, March 7, 2017

Cthulhu - Adorable Cat Moment #16 - Cardboard Ships and Stormy Seas

Anywhere I lay a box, Cthulhu makes her depths. - There is something glorious about the weekends. Free from demands, stress, and structure I am free to be. Play video games, read, or watch something scary. There is a piece of freedom in isolation and a mask that covers what crawls beneath. There is a yearning in me that oscillates between compulsion for connection and demand for isolation. In either reality, I dream for the opposite. So I percolate between realms and find no home. Wandering and drifting. Depression is like a ghost ship. The inhabitants seek to escape. But a ship is designed to sail. - Cthulhu pays no mind to silly my troubles. Silly human emotions. 

Monday, March 6, 2017

Cthulhu - Adorable Cat Moment #15 Temping Krinkle Ball

Emerging from behind the couch. Still shaking loose the stench from the depths. A shiny ball temps Cthulhu from the beyond.  Cthulhu has more important licking to do, and pays the ball no mind. 

The Hills Have Eyes (2006) - Terrorism, Masculinity and Totalitarianism

There is an obviousness in which The Hills Have Eyes explores masculinity. Bob, the retired detective, plays the role of father, protector, and bully. Taking shots at Doug’s perceived and actual inferiority. Doug on the other hand recoils and sidebars his retorts to his wife. Accepting, she pleads with Doug to take the high ground. Swallow his pride, keep his mouth shut and avoid confrontation.

The Hills Have Eyes juxtaposes the nuclear family against the radiated family. The Incestuous radioactive mutants living on the outskirts, trapping and scavenging the weary traveler. The mutants present a primal vision of masculinity. Hypersexualized murders commanding and controlling. acting on their power outside the eyes of society. Unbridled and unflinching a club to the head settles power disputes where words fail to capture shifting superiorities.

Sunday, March 5, 2017

Cthulhu - Adorable Cat Moment #15 Painting with Cats is Hard!

I've been more of a black cloud than a person this week. Still holding this weight of dread from earlier in the week. It's as if something holding reality together is crumbling. There is this book called Fear by L Ron Hubbard. Yes, the Scientologist. Fear is an early writing before he started collecting followers. The story follows this guy going about his life. Half way through the book reality shows it's seams. The fabric of ontology becomes fluid. Shifting and rearranging. As if the placement of any given atom or particle was fragile flickering ready to morph or disappear on a whim. 

Earlier tonight I tried painting live on Facebook. I rigged my poor man's tripod to a chair. A couple minutes into the video Cthulhu attacks the tripod and knocked the camera over! Sadly I was not able to upload the video because the music I was listening to was copywritten. So, I recorded a second video! My painting is taking shape!

Saturday, March 4, 2017

Cthulhu - Adorable Cat Moment #14 DIY Cat Tree

Cthulhu's first cat tree was made from duct tape and a cardboard box. Cthulhu would spring from the floor and jump to the top of her makeshift castle. Surveying her domain and eventually sleeping. But like Godzilla's greatest masters pieces the cardboard box condo was destroyed under the weight of a mighty paw. 

Homeless Cthulhu explored for new sleeping spots. Every surface became her home. But a treasure was found in a nearby alley. A wooden file cabinet!

Friday, March 3, 2017

Unboxing The Horror Block of February 2017

Good day comrades. Today, I received my second HorrorBlock! Watch as I make a box open. Ta Da! HorrorBlock is subscription service that sends you a box of horror stuff every month. Personally, I love getting creepy presents every month. Check out the video below and be prepared for adorable demons and zombies! #Horrorblock https://www.nerdblock.com/horror

Wednesday, March 1, 2017

Unboxing The Horror Pack March 2017

Good day comrades. Today, I received my first Horror Pack! Watch as I make a box open. Ta Da! Horror Pack is subscription service that sends you a box of horror movies every month. Personally, I love getting creepy presents every month. Check out the video below and be prepared for the scary!


Monday, February 27, 2017

Halloween II (1981) or The Shape, The Mask and The Pumpkin

Neighber: We have been trick or treated to death! 
Dr. Loomis: You do not even know what death is!
Death is the end. The transformation between existence and nonevidence as the steak knife slides across the throat. Loomis is aware of the cold brutality of the knife. The annoyed suburbanite on the other hand, casually comparing handing out free candy on Halloween to death is out of touch with life.

This juxtaposition is between surface and content, Psychiatrist and suburbanite emerge in the opening credits of Halloween 2. The pumpkin that slowly reveals its innards are more that pumpkin guts. A skull with empty eyes and a transfixed gaze. Hollow holes staring without eyes. Beyond the camera and into the viewer. Am I the target, dying continuously?

Cthulhu - Adorable Cat Moment #13 Nightmares and Work

It's 3:28 am. I woke from a nightmare and dehydration. I rarely remember my dream. Often times, when I do I went to bed at an appropriate time and did not go to sleep out of exhaustion. Last night I finished a bottle of wine and went to sleep four hours early than usual.

I have felt this sense of dread for the last couple days. The weight of existence. What good are we as a species? What merit do we bring to this earth?

The nightmare was about work. I arrived at the office with my typical attitude of hoping for the best and expecting the worst. Upon unlocking the door to my office I found that the room had been stripped. All my posters and photos had been removed from the walk and piled on the floor. Inspecting the walls I found they had a new coat of paint that had been poorly applied. There were inconsistencies in the coat of paint. Missing spots, and it was if rather than going up and down with a paint roller each time the paint was applied with a different angle.

Friday, February 24, 2017

Cthulhu - Adorable Cat Moment #12 Spoiled Cat

If any cat is anti-capitalist, Cthulhu is. Why, you ask? Because she constantly sabotages my desire to spoil her with gifts and toys. Like yesterday, after months of hesitation, I finally purchase her a small cat tree. In stead of enjoying the new play area she becomes infatuated with the box the tree came in!




Wednesday, February 22, 2017

Cthulhu - Adorable Cat Moment #11 New Cardboard Box!

After several months, my order of The Beauty of Horror arrived. Cthulhu was not impressed by the book and made the new cardboard box her outpost. But wait, a fish arrived on the scene, but the fish was too far out of reach for little Cthulhu. :(